


love love or whatever (take a number)

by KidsToday



Series: All this (and love too) - college AU [1]
Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: A little, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Character Study, F/F, Fluff, I love these kids, Toni Centric, Toni is confused and a little angry through most of this, and some toni/shelby, but nothing serious actually happens, i guess, inspired by that one post about erena and mia wearing the same shirt, the others are mostly mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:55:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28151244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KidsToday/pseuds/KidsToday
Summary: Toni is late to class so she grabs one of Shelby's shirts on the way out.This, as it turns out, becomes a bigger deal than it should be.orToni is confused, everyone else is amused and Shelby is a good girlfriend
Relationships: Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Series: All this (and love too) - college AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2069793
Comments: 36
Kudos: 936





	love love or whatever (take a number)

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by this post: https://gleesecret.tumblr.com/post/637725366199500800/same-shirt
> 
> can't get this show out of my head so I wrote this in like two hours so sorry for any mistakes
> 
> title is by Richard Siken's "litany in which certain things are crossed out" (because I don't know how to not use Siken quotes)

///

The day doesn't start out bad. Quite the opposite, really.

Shelby’s bed is warm, nicer than her own somehow, and Shelby herself is soft beside her. Toni wakes up early, eyes still half lidded and bones heavy, and there’s nothing better really than looking at the display of her phone and realizing she still has two more hours before she needs to get up, still has time to press her nose against her girlfriends neck, throw an arm over her waist, listen to her deep breaths, watch sunlight slowly lighting up her (very much naked) skin.

Toni is so glad that Shelby shares a dorm with Leah, who only rolled her eyes a little when Toni and Shelby had fallen through the door, mid make-out, yesterday evening, and then grabbed a book and her shoes and made herself scarce. 

Their friends are the best. 

Shelby mumbles something in her sleep and turns so she's facing Toni. Toni presses a kiss to her nose just to see it scrunch up and then slides lower into the sheets, dropping her forehead onto Shelby’s sternum and letting the slow rise and fall of her girlfriends chest lull her back to sleep.

The next time she wakes up it’s only for a second, long enough to miss the warmth next to her when Shelby leaves the bed, listen to the quiet rustle of clothes being put on and feel a kiss pressed to her head, fingers stroking her hair. 

“Go back to sleep.“ Shelby says. “I set your alarm.“ 

And who is Toni to deny her girlfriend anything. 

///

The day only starts going downhill when she wakes up a third time, with a start, her body on its way out of bed the second her eyes have opened. The way you wake up when you somehow already know that it is far too late, like your brain has been jumpstarted.

Toni scrambles for her phone and curses when she sees the time. She only has ten minutes to get to her class at the other side of campus and still has to stop at her dorm to get her things, and so it is already pretty much predestined that she’ll be late.

Old Toni, High School Toni, would have just not bothered to go by now, but she's been trying to actually keep and honor her basketball scholarship, doing her best to study and pay attention in class. She also quite likes her classes. Wants to get a degree and work in the field she's chosen and yeah, that had surprised no one more than herself. 

The idea of a shower is pretty much shot, and Toni grimaces at the thought of spending the day with post-sex sweat on her skin. Nothing she can do about it, though. 

She finds her pants under the bed, steals some underwear from Shelby and has her bra on in under a minute. The location of her T-shirt seems to be some kind of mystery though, and after looking for another few minutes with her brush between her teeth Toni gives up and just grabs the first one she sees out of Shelby’s closet. It’s some oversized, white thing and Toni’s just glad it’s not some pastel colored crop top. 

Her jacket is by the door, thrown over a lamp, and maybe she should apologize to Leah at lunch later if Shelby and Toni were already taking each others clothes off two steps into the room.

On the other hand, they're both pretty hot so maybe Leah should thank them for the show.

Her phone, useless with its empty battery, is being tucked into her back pocket and then she's on her way, cursing herself for ruining what started out to be a pretty good day. 

///

Things begin to get … weird then.

Her way to class is normal but later she’ll think that that’s probably only the case because she's sprinting across campus, not giving anyone the chance to interact with her.

She makes it only 5 minutes too late and their professor is still setting up so she slips in unnoticed, finds her seat next to Fatin and lets herself fall into it with a sigh, out of breath.

Fatin turns to greet her and then her eyes kind of get stuck on Toni’s chest which, okay, she gets, but Toni’s also in a pretty committed relationship with one of their mutual friends so she raises an eyebrow at Fatin, wondering at the grin slowly spreading over the other girls lips.

“Awww Toni.“ Fatin kind of coos, and before Toni can ask what the hell she means by that the other girl throws her arms around her, squeezing tight. 

Toni’s frozen, confusion settling over her slowly, because yeah, of course she hugged Fatin before, they are friends, but Toni has never been the hugging-as-a-greeting kind of person and until now everyone had accepted that without question.

Their professor clears his throat then and powers up the projector and Fatin lets her go and turns to the front of the class, like nothing out of the ordinary happened. 

Toni follows her, their professors voice starting to fill the room, and decides to just let it got. 

It’s just a hug, after all, no reason to make some kind of deal out of it.

///

Only, it’s not the only hug she receives that day.

After her first class she and Fatin part ways. Toni walks through the corridors and can’t help but notice that people seem to look at her more than they usually do. It’s not a staring, really, more of a fleeting thing. They look at her like she's a flyer they are trying to read on the go, except some of them give her smiles or a thumbs up (which, wow. what a fucking dork).

Whatever the reason may be, Toni would really like them to stop, it makes her feel like everybody except for her is in on some joke, like they know something about her. 

Reminds her of back in High School when she’d first came out and people just had to watch the real live lesbian in their midst like she was some kind of animal in a zoo.

She can feel her fingers curl together to form into a fist and the anger she's so familiar with brewing in her stomach.

Deep breaths, she reminds herself, the way her therapist taught her. She can’t exactly fight people for looking at her even though she's done so for less before.

She almost looses it though when some guy walks up to her and loosely throws his arms around her shoulders, squeezes once and then lets go, walking past her.

“Thanks!“ he tells her in passing. “I needed that!“

Toni is already turning around to punch him in the face when he disappears into the crowd.

What the hell is going on, she thinks, her fist left hanging in the empty air.

///

It only keeps happening, after that.

In the halls between classes, on the quad when she has to change buildings, people keep coming up to her, hugging her.

Two of her teammates see her in the hall and crowd her from both sides, throwing their arms around her, one of the guys from the mens team walks up to her with open arms, big smile on his face.

“Tones!“ (which is a nickname she hates) “If you insist!“ 

She dodges his arms and elbows him in the side for good measure.

Then there’s the girl that presses her face into her shoulder, arms around her waist, and starts crying! Big sobs staining her open jacket, probably leaving behind snot.

Toni is always a little helpless when people cry, and that’s with her friends. She doesn’t even know this girl!

After a good five minutes in which Toni just kind of stands there, arms hovering awkwardly around the other girls shoulder, (because, come one, she's not heartless! She wont push away some girl who is obvioulsy in the midst of a mental breakdown!) the girl lets her go and gives her a wet smile.

“Thanks, I had the crappiest dyad this really helped.“ and then she vanishes! Like that’s some socially acceptable explanation for attacking a complete stranger!

///

(And here’s the thing: It’s not that she hates hugs, necessarily. Just that she isn't really used to them.

She hugs Marty, of course, often and freely, and now the others too sometimes, when they look like they need it or are drunk dancing at some party. And Shelby. Always Shelby. More often than she’d admit to.

But growing up the way she did, most of the touching she’d experienced hadn't exactly been tender or caring. She's always been better at violence, at hard than soft. 

And then, even the hugs she does give are mostly initiated by her, there’s only about two people who get away with hugging her without warning.

So to spend a whole day being accosted by people, strangers even, without knowing why, it’s grating on her nerves, makes it hard to concentrate on all those calming exercises her therapist showed her.)

///

By the time lunch rolls around Toni is this short of either snapping and punching someone or laughing hysterically.

Her brain, in trying to make sense of this, is coming up with more and more bizarre theories so that at some point Toni is convinced that somewhere close a nuclear power plant exploded and everyone is losing their minds except for her. 

Making her way to the cafeteria she's gripping the strings of her backpack in white clenched knuckles, her jaw is set and there is a fire behind her gaze that normally has even the biggest frat boy running. But still, people come up to her! Arms around her shoulders, pats on the back, sometimes only smiles directed at her. 

When she does reach their usual table there must be steam coming out of her eyes, only slightly soothed by the sight of all her friends. 

Martha gets up when she sees Toni, her arms open and inviting, which, for the fist time today, is a hug she appreciates! Because it’s normal for them.

But then Dot follows suit and so does Nora, if a little awkwardly, and Leah and Fatin again and even Rachel, for gods sake, who’s on a normal day even less a fan of physical touch than Toni on her bad ones.

She’s had enough by then, basically throwing her backpack into her seat, struggling out of her jacket in a very undignified way and crossing her arms over her chest.

“Okay. What the FUCK is going on today!!“ She's only barely not yelling, and the others look a little take aback. Good.

“Is this some stupid elaborate joke the whole school is in on?? Do I have a sign on me saying please hug?? What’s going on!“

For a second they all just stare at her, eyes wide and then Leah snorts and the others begin laughing immediately after. 

Toni can feel her blood pressure rising, red staining her neck and cheeks out of anger or embarrassment, she's not sure anymore.

Okay, great, let everybody have a nice laugh at her expense. Fine. Whatever. It’s not like she cares.

Dot must notice than Toni isn't laughing with them, quite the opposite really, and she struggles to calm down.

“I’m sorry.“ she brings out. “It’s just that, you literally do.“ And when Toni can still only stare at her, eyebrow raised in silent question, Dot points at her chest. Or more accurately, at Toni realizes when she looks down at herself, at her shirt. The white shirt she stole out of Shelby’s closet. The white shirt with the big black letters spelling “FREE HUGS“ that she somehow hasn't noticed she's been displaying the whole day.

Toni groans, falling into her seat and immediately burrowing her face in her arms. 

Fatin lays a hand on her shoulder, still suppressed laughter in her voice.

“Shit, I’m sorry Toni. I thought you knew!“

Toni only lifts her head enough to glare at her.

“You thought I would be wearing this shirt on my own free will? Really?“

Fatin just shrugs, laughter in her eyes.

“I hate all of you.“ and her head goes back down.

Leah, at least a little helpful, has calmed down enough to think rationally. 

“That’s Shelby’s shirt, right?“ 

“Of course it’s Shelby’s fucking shirt, do you know anyone else who’d run around offering hugs to everyone?“ the words are mumbled into the skin of her arms, Toni still too mortified to show her face again. 

The others are laughing again, and Toni is just steeling herself to join them, putting her pride and embarrassment and (still there) anger to rest, when she feels arms embrace her from behind and a head coming to rest on her shoulder.

She can feel every single muscle getting ready to fight. 

“I swear to god you have one fucking second to let go of me.“ It comes out as more of a growl than anything else, but that’s just as well, gives them a taste of what’s to come.

Only then does Toni recognize the perfume surrounding her, sees the blonde hair from the corner of her eye, and wants to promptly vanish into the ground again.

Shelby lets go of her, because she always respects Toni’s boundaries, and slides into the empty seat next to her. 

“You okay?“ there is worry in her eyes and she looks Toni up and down, lingering, of course, on the shirt she is wearing. 

All Toni can do is ignore the blush blooming on her cheeks and rub the back of her head.

“Ahh sorry. I just had the shittiest day.“

Shelby takes it in stride, the way they have learnt to do with each others hang-ups, and smiles softly at her. 

“Nice shirt.“ 

Toni groans again. “Please don’t.“ and lets her forehead fall to Shelby’s shoulder.

Her girlfriend twirls Toni’s ponytail around her fingers and Toni is able to drown out everything else, the voices of the rest of the table starting up conversation again, the chatter of the cafeteria, clinking of forks and knives. For the first time since Shelby left the bed this morning she’s completely calm.

///

Later that day Shelby picks her up from practice with Takis and a promise of take-out and netflix and Toni presses her against the hood of her car and kisses her until they are both breathless. 

The shirt is stuffed into her gym bag, deep deep down beneath basketball shoes and sweaty socks. She’s not planning on giving it back but only for the reason that she’s got a great plan for it herself, the campfire on their next Team Trip seeming like a great resolution. 

She tells Shelby as much, on the way back to the dorms, and listens to her gasp indignantly.

“You can’t just burn my shirt!“ 

Toni shrugs. 

“Maybe I won’t. Maybe I’ll just throw it away, or forget it at the laundromat or donate it somewhere.“

Shelby slaps at her shoulder, not quite able to hide her grin, and Toni, only to protect herself, intercepts her hand and slots their fingers together, marveling, still, at how they just seem to fit. 

(For all her talk she never does throw the shirt away. It is quite cozy, after all, and just the right size to use as a sleep shirt and it does smell a little bit like Shelby, at least until the first few washes.

She does make sure, though, that she is never seen out with it again. 

People should have to pay, after all, for a gift such as her hugs. No free nothings. 

There’s only a few people that have proven themselves worthy of free hugs, one of them laying in bed next to her. And she appreciates Toni just as much in the shirt as she does out of it.)

**Author's Note:**

> I have some more ideas for this universe so I'm thinking about turning it into a series of oneshots focusing on all the characters so tell me what you think of that  
> Also i need your ideas for what the girls would be majoring in cause idk  
> Aaand still not sure if i want the whole island thing to have happened here or for them to have met at university, what do you guys think?
> 
> Thanks for reading, I am always ecstatic about comments of course!
> 
> find me on tumblr @kiidstoday


End file.
